So long, September
September 30, 2011 § 3 Comments
I will send September out in high style this Friday night, with a long bath and Country Living, re-warmed homemade chicken soup with rice, and an early bedtime.
But first, here is the John Keats poem I feel the need to re-read and remind everyone of this time of year. You may want to put on your literary thinking cap since it’s all old language and meter and rhyme, but it’s a gorgeous piece and worth the time. Can’t you just imagine England in the fall? I was there in the gloomy winter/spring, but I can imagine. And I’m remembering so many pastoral paintings, hanging on the walls of European museums, by artists whose names I wrote down on scraps of paper, and shoved in my pockets, and inevitably lost.
—–
To Autumn
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;
To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.
Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap’d furrow sound asleep,
Drows’d with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cider-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.
Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,-
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.
Delays & anticipation
September 29, 2011 § Leave a comment
Well. It is the second-to-last day of September and I am a brooding a bit for several reasons:
1. I love September. It’s my favorite month and it’s almost over. A whole year of waiting for it again . . . it feels kind of like finishing a favorite book. Satisfying, except you’re not ready to be done with it yet. (This is of course referring back to the days when I read books.)
2. I set many goals over the last few weeks – and shared them – and have not even come close to reaching them! Such as getting up early to walk the dog, biking to work, and reading through The Vegetable Garden Problem Solver (re-set that goal: if I’m through the book by next February I can be content). Am I lazy? Or am I asking too much of myself? Grr, me.
3. The exciting September News that I hinted at earlier has to be pushed to . . . October, maybe. Stalling on my own part has something to do with this, but there are other factors. Sometimes things have to take on their own life and timeline, and that’s sort of what this is. So – hang in there, me and you.
Still. I can shake myself out of this brood (a little). Because on this second-to-last day of September I also have some very good things to look forward to:
1. We’re having a party at the farm! A potluck-style crawfish bash thanks to my boss and her Southern roots. This Saturday night. (I’d better take a nap between the farmers’ market and the party, come to think of it.) If you’re my friend and you live here and you want to come, let me know – the more the merrier!
2. I am happy to announce that I will be attending and blogging for/about the Carolina Farm Stewardship Associaton’s Sustainable Ag Conference in Durham, NC! It’s taking place November 12-13, but I’ll get there early to check out the area and participate in some pre-conference activities. More details on that later, but if any readers are in the area and/or attending the conference I’d love to know.
3. Change comes with the seasons, when you work on a farm. It scares me but I also need to acknowledge how lucky I am to mix up my schedule and my life; to have new experiences and opportunities for learning; to make new friends and new discoveries. Come November my world is going to shift, and I don’t know how far – it could be very far, or not far at all – but I get to ride out that shift. And write it out. (Thanks for reading!)
4. There will be more time set aside for writing books. I may not be reading about vegetables as I should, but book ideas have been be coming out of my ears lately. So it seems weird to look forward to this, but I am excited about jotting down the thoughts and the plots. I’ve already started, and it’s only going to get better. Winter seems to be more of my writing season, especially poetry and fiction, and I can’t help but feel glad about dark quiet nights by the fireplace, shutting out the buzz and hum of everything else so that the imagination can do its thing.
5. And finally: baby brother is getting married. I love/hate weddings but the love part of them is what I aim to focus on. The event planner in me wants to know all the details. The budding photographer in me can hardly wait to capture all the gorgeous moments that will be had. At first the news came as a surprise but now the idea is getting more and more fun. I am hoping for the utmost of happiness for them.
So then. There are delays and disappointments and the passing of time, and there are joys and excitements in the passing of the time.
It’s life, eh?
And here is a delicious Etsy blog post I wanted to share, to sweeten this slightly moody post of my own: How to Make Chocolates. Check out the deal you can get on the cookbook! Yum. We are moving into the season of decadence.
A book to read in fall
September 14, 2011 § Leave a comment
A slim little paperback of 20 poems by Robert Bly, one of my beloved Minnesota poets: The Urge to Travel Long Distances.
The geese in flight reminded me of the cover of this book, a book I dig out this time of year for a good re-read. Here are poems to enjoy by the season’s first fires, with mugs of cider in your hands.
Seeds and sky
September 7, 2011 § Leave a comment
“Keep your eyes clean and your ears quiet and your mind serene. Breathe God’s air. Work, if you can, under His sky.” – Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
A favorite book on a favorite subject
September 5, 2011 § Leave a comment
As I was writing the previous post, and thinking about good words in the world, I happened to remember this book. It is the book that made me want to try my hand at nonfiction when I was adamantly going to be a young adult fiction writer. I am so glad. This book is written in a way that reminds you of snow falling in a dark night. There is something quietly powerful, quietly beautiful. Read it.
The Rural Life by Verlyn Klinkenborg
Measuring
September 5, 2011 § Leave a comment
The pictures and stories from the Black Hills adventures are still coming. I haven’t forgotten. I’ve just been focusing on other things, and I want to spend a nice good time on it so you have a nice good full-ish story when I tell you what a perfectly wonderful vacation we had.
For now, I am in normal life. It is not always my favorite place to be. I like it – oh, I totally love so many of the things I get to do each week, and then at week’s end I go through the rich vivid things I’ve gotten to do, and touch, and see, and there is so much color and life in it. But do you ever have those moments when all the things you have been quietly, or not-so-quietly, brooding and stewing over for the last day, or week, or even months just pile up on your chest so that you literally feel like you can’t breathe? When the pain from this-or-that – sometimes little pains, sometimes big ones – that you have been suppressing for so long suddenly pushes back? Things are good, things are fine, you keep telling yourself and everyone else, and there you go still grabbing onto hope and trying to be everything you need yourself to be, and not always succeeding.
I am crawling out of that and noticing how easily lately I can get shot down into that tailspin. Sensitive, much? I thought I outgrew it after life punched me in the gut a few times, but nope, it is still there. This is certainly a little bit of a feel-sorry-for-me kind of thing but much more of a I-am-really-tired-and-running-out-of-ideas-for-how-to-fix-stuff kind of thing. Although, actually, the ideas abound but the means to actualizing them gets gritty. Do you have what it takes, girl? And if not, where can you get it?
So much of life can seem to be about measuring up. For a perfectionist this is exhausting. We have to extend grace to ourselves and to others. We just do. Everyone slips; we are human. Everyone caves to their disappointment and pain sometimes. And everyone is just trying to make it. Some are trying to not only make it, but to help others make it, and to love the world and its people, and this is incredible.
Some recent reading of comments to online articles and youtube videos and such has made me shudder. How wretched we can be! How vile, and hateful, and hurtful. (Sorry if you’re one of those sorts who thinks everything is relative and okay, and we should be able to say and do what we please, but it isn’t and we shouldn’t in all cases.) Some of the things said seem to ask for someone to track that person down as they are on the verge of truly troubling crimes, and I’m not exaggerating. It’s startling how hiding behind online names/personas allows people to be so open that they walk and so often cross a precarious line, moving from freedom of speech towards assault.
Yet at the same time there are good-hearted, well-intentioned nonprofits abounding. There are people dedicating their lives to the well-being of other humans, animals, the earth. There are people who cry for others, who fight for others, who equip others. Maybe these people are so busy doing these things that they don’t have the time to lurk and comment on the online news and entertainment pieces. (Ooh, that’s a comforting thought.) The negative comments and the mindless ones far outweigh the good ones. I’m going to stop reading these follow-ups as, usually, they go round and round and only make me end up despising humanity and wishing to be a sleek, cheerful, laughing bottle-nosed dolphin instead. Or maybe a baby bear. At the same time I wonder who is hiding and why they are hiding and how they got to such places, and if someone can reach them somehow. Everyone has a heart; some hearts have just gotten clouded or overgrown with thorny tangles.
I don’t know. What I do know is that as I, the formerly avid real book reader, become a part of the online writing community (one that is now huge and happening), I want the voice I have – even one that is from an imperfect, still-wandering, often a wee bit discouraged person – to offer light, hope, encouragement, and kindness. I hope you can find these things here. I hope you feel free to check me if too much criticism, anger, or even resentment creeps in (I am still human, not a dolphin, unfortunately). I sometimes imagine tossing (magically biodegradable) gold glitter out over the earth’s surface, over the people in parks and the people on bicycles and the people walking stolidly to work along the sidewalk – sparkling handfuls to make the day a little brighter, to garner a surprise and a smile.
Can words do that? I like to think that they might.
Problem solving
August 30, 2011 § Leave a comment
I’m starting to think about what’s next after the farm season is over. It’s scary. I’ll figure it out has been my most-used phrase lately – lately being the last several years or so.
It seems like I always need more experience. And experience can be hard to get. But one of the things I feel like I can do, and ought to be doing, is look for ways to educate myself. I have to admit that I don’t read the way I used to, before college hit. Blogs and facebook keep me far too entertained these days. Whatever happened to books?
As I scroll through job possibilities and think about the things I want to do and the things I need to know better, I can’t help noticing the gaps in my education. Or, perhaps more accurately, the misdirection of some – not all – of my education. It’s troubling and yet not something that can’t be remedied in its way. It’s just up to me to fill in the blanks, since I didn’t realize a major in agroecology would have been a good partner to my major in English until too late. Fortunately, one thing college does for you is teach you how to learn. If you want to learn something, find the resources and get down and do it!
So. I’ve got a copy of Rodale’s Ultimate Encyclopedia of Organic Gardening (which is very long and chock full of information) and a copy of Rodale’s Vegetable Garden Problem Solver (which is acceptably thick, but not overwhelmingly). The goal I’m setting for my not-fully-educated, not-reading-enough self is to read this second book cover to cover, and to have it completed by the end of September. In addition to paging through the Ultimate Encyclopedia a little each day. I suspect I’ll share excerpts and discoveries along the way, so for those of you blog-oriented readers like me with even a small interest in gardening, you might consider this your SparkNotes!
Also. If you haven’t heard of The Rodale Institute, you might want to check them out. They are responsible for lots of research, information-sharing, publications, and general forward-movement of all things organic and sustainable. They also have festivals – the next is an Organic Apple Festival on September 17, complete with apple picking, farm tours, and apple cider floats. Don’t I wish I could go! You know how I love a good farm event. Muy bien!
An afternoon’s happiness
August 14, 2011 § Leave a comment
Happiness is sliding into a nap on the couch.
Silent rain on the patio, an open door, window blinds tapping one another.
The sound of the wind pushing around corners.
A yawning dog.
First giveaway: And the winner is . . .
August 11, 2011 § Leave a comment
For commenting on the PFI/Honeybee post last Thursday, readers got entered into a drawing to win a copy of C. Marina Marchese’s book Honeybee: Lessons from an Accidental Beekeeper.
So I tossed all y’all’s names into a hat.
Closed my eyes and drew one out. Opened it.
And here’s who won:
This lucky winner is actually my best redhead friend. We’ve known each other since college, nannied for the same family, shared our first out-of-college apartment in a suburb of Minneapolis, and have spent our twenties supporting and encouraging each other as we figure out how to be grown-ups (kind of). I’m super grateful for this girl in my life. Renee, congrats! I’ll get the book in the mail to you this week. I hope to hear reports on how the honey lip balm turns out.
Along the gravel drive
August 9, 2011 § Leave a comment
Just about every week I drive to a little town between Boulder and Longmont to pick up my milk, from a small farm where I have a share in the herd. I am obsessed with this milk. The icing on the cake (cream on the top?) is that in order to obtain it I get to go out to a farm and smell that dairy smell, see new kittens lingering the doorways with their dewy glassy eyes, say hello to the curious gray goat, and watch the hens pecking around and making feed bags crinkle.
The last two times I’ve gone to the farm, I’ve gotten some additional glimpses of the good ol’ country life in this state of Colorado. (Something I am always glad to see persisting despite the influx of wealthy outdoor adventurers and trendy corporate professionals.) Two weeks ago (I missed a week between), as I was pulling around a corner to go out the long gravel drive, there in front of me were two girls on horseback. They were probably in their early teens, on chestnut horses, just ambling down the way and laughing with each other. Such a scene I’ve imagined or read about so many times I can’t count. Every horse-crazy girl imagines long rides on horseback with her best of friends and her best of horses. It made me happy to realize that this does still happen, in real life, not just in the imagination. Despite the blur of speeding-up technology and speeding-up society, and also the speeding-up of growing up, there can still be these slowed-down, timeless, quiet, enjoying-childhood moments.
I wanted to wish those girls all the good that life can hold. It’s strange to be older now, a real grown-up, not living on so much hope of the future as you used to, having fulfilled some dreams and abandoned others, having reworked perspectives, having come through difficulty and sought after strength. It’s strange to see these young ladies in the thick of girlhood and to remember how that was, to rather miss it, to hope that their choices and experiences are as good as some of yours, and much better than others.
Then, today, as I drove away from the little shed with my half-gallon jars full of whole milk, down that same drive, I saw to my left that a horse camp or group riding lesson was happening. There is a small paddock on the farm, just past the shed where I pick up the milk, and I’ve noticed before that it seems the farmer’s wife or some other relative must regularly offer riding lessons there. Today a collection of probably 8 – 10 year olds were lined up with their horses – mainly chestnuts and bays, all prettily matching – and they watched as one after another worked at circling barrels. I laughed – I did – I couldn’t help it. Cowgirls and cowboys are not the same, quite, as they used to be back in the height of the Wild West and all the myths that surround it, but they are still alive and well out here, a new version based on the old prototypes. They hold onto certain passions, practices, and, to some extent, a set of values. Cowboy boots and hats and Wranglers are worn shamelessly, even proudly. Just the other day I made a new acquaintance who has a seven-week-old baby girl. She said to me, while nursing her daughter in the seat of her pickup, “When we were naming her we went with Kylie Rose over Kylie Grace, because my husband says it’s a better cowgirl name.”
Oh. It’s just too good. And my little-girl dreams of being a Colorado cowgirl have never been so close. I was a wishful, pining dreamer, and to think all this time God had this up his sleeve. Life is incredibly interesting. And even when I’m broke and trying to figure out the next step and wondering if I’m wasting my talent and am yet still so full of ambition, there is so much to be grateful for, amused by, and celebrated.
Right now, I am especially thankful for this cup of coffee, bacon in the fridge, a swimmed-out sleeping dog, several articles to be written and published, the best sister in the world, and the likelihood of riding lessons in the near future.
Kinds of Honey 